Soft Breasts, Beating Heart
by ImNoGoodWithUsernames
Summary: Kai just wants to help Bonnie heal, but that doesn't mean he can't hurt her along the way- consensually, of course. BonKai get into a bit of S&M. If violence bothers you then skip this one.
1. Chapter 1

Soft breasts, beating heart

Song: Tear You Apart- She Wants Revenge

Kai just wants to help Bonnie heal, but that doesn't mean he can't hurt her along the way. BonKai get into a bit of S&M. If violence bothers you then skip this one.

This came to me as I was listening to this song. I know it would have been an easy setup, but I went ahead and took out the tragic childhood because it felt too cheap. Kai isn't a sadist because he's got Daddy issues- that's low hanging fruit. Anyway, I want to be SUPER clear, this is about sadism and masochism, so if that's not something you wanna read about then leave this fic be...

I don't own TVD and these are not my characters...without further ado...

* * *

_**I want to hold you close**_

_**Skin pressed against me tight**_

_**Lie still, and close your eyes girl**_

_**So lovely, it feels so right**_

He was a sadist, but he'd known that about himself for a while now.

He always liked pain, liked causing it, liked seeing how other people wore it. Fortunately, there was no shortage of consenting masochists to focus his desires on. The internet being what it was finding a willing victim was nothing more than a click away.

He can admit he'd done some less than noble things, but that was before; when he was younger, less controlled. One such time, in middle school, he shoved Sarah Geller off the top of the slide just to watch her fall. One minute she was at the top of the jungle gym and the next she wasn't. He barely remembers actually pushing her, but who else could have done it? He'd felt bad about it, but when she got up, knees scraped and elbows bloody he'd been transfixed. Her mother called his and he could hear her shrill tone through the receiver as he watched from the other side of the kitchen. "Tell your _freak_ of a son to stay away from my child."

_Freak_**_-_** he didn't much like the weight of it; felt like a blanket he couldn't crawl from underneath: smothering and oppressive. In addition to overhearing the insult, he was punished; on top of having to write the girl a letter in apology, he was forced to attend some outpatient juvenile anger management class. He thought about explaining to his family that the reason he pushed Sarah was not out of anger, but then he realized he'd have to somehow explain he did just to see her fall and he instantly thought better of it. Looking back it was fitting for his actions, but at the time it felt wholly unfair.

Deeper than the Gellar incident, though, was a memory he'd long buried.

* * *

He'd been young- around 5 or 6. Jo and he were playing with dolls in the attic when she took his from his hands.

"Give it back, Josie!" he whined, but she only poked her tongue out at him and kept playing. He lunged for her and grabbed hold of her wrist intent on taking back his doll. Before either of them knew what happened the skin Kai was holding onto burned red and his sister was screaming. Kai was still- he didn't want to hurt his sister- but _something_ about her scream made him curious; he focused on the sound. Moments passed and he registered that she was still yelling- only then did he pull his hands away. In reality, it had been a matter of seconds, but it felt excruciatingly longer for the both of them. "Sorry, Josie! I- I don't know what happened! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" It was too late. His mother heard the screaming and came rushing in. She looked between the two and demanded an explanation. He told her he just wanted his toy back and Josette wasn't playing fair, he hadn't meant to hurt her, honest! He told his mother he wanted to take the toy but then his hands glowed.

"Show me" was all she said. He tentatively took his mother's hand she gasped when he made contact.

* * *

_Siphon_.

That's when he found out what he was.

He felt intense shame when it happened- shame that he hurt his sister, shame that hurting seemed to come to naturally to him, and shame that pain piqued his curiosity. He was an abomination.

After that, he kept his hands to himself. Once his parents figured out what he was it was easy-they often reminded him to be careful who he touched and chastised him when he got too close. His family made sure he kept a wide berth between himself and his siblings at all times. He understood, somewhat, but it was hard not touching anyone. He was a kid, after all, he wanted to play hand games with his siblings, wanted to wrestle and rough house, wanted to hug and be comforted, but he was always reminded to keep his distance. He learned to conceal it then.

Few "accidents" happened throughout the rest of his childhood. He learned how to handle his ability and became sufficiently distracted. Siphons weren't uncommon, but they weren't favored either. He had support, but he often felt like a black sheep in his family. In his coven especially. It wasn't a secret that most of the Gemini looked down on siphons- he was fortunate to get what little support he did. Between managing his siphoning ability, being the joint-eldest of 7 brothers and sisters, and navigating the mess that was his coven he barely had time to live a normal life let alone fantasize about causing pain...

* * *

It wasn't until much later, in his sophomore year of college, that he revisited his capacity for hurt.

He was in the middle of fooling around with a girl from his Theory of Identity class. They'd been messing around for a couple of months and the sex was great, but something felt different tonight. Normally she'd lead, but tonight she deferred to him. Not only that, but she kept doing little things she _knew_ pissed him off. He thought she wanted him to take control, but when he reached for her she pushed his hands away, when he kissed her she bit his lips, and when he touched her softly she groaned in annoyance. After 30 mins of neither of them being satisfied, she clued him in. "I want you to _hurt_ me, Kai".

Simple, just one sentence. She wasn't asking for some elaborate fantasy or something so unreasonable, she just wanted to be hurt. He was jarred none the less. Here this girl he'd been fooling around with for the better part of the semester was making a simple ask of him, but he was thrown by it. In his experience girls like gentleness and being touched tenderly. He didn't mind those things, he even liked that most times, but something deep within him had always desired something more: something darker.

It was something he fantasized about- but he'd always imagined it had to remain there, in his head. After the incident with the Gellar girl, Jo had reamed him out just as thoroughly as their mother. "You're not supposed to hit girls, Kai!" She screamed it at him then launched into an hour-long monologue about and how fucked up he was. It stuck. Even now it rang in his head like a mantra. His forgotten fantasy was manifesting itself on its own in front of him and he felt too stuck to delve into it. _Go figure._

* * *

They started off tentatively, despite his lifelong unspoken interest, this was his first time actually charting this territory. There was still fear in his bones, fear he'd do real damage or come on too strong. The last thing he needed was to hurt her in a way she didn't want to be or come across as too aggressive. This was a first for him and he wanted to be precautious as much as he wanted to savor it. So they began with light slapping and from there they progressed. By the end of the night, they were both heaving and satisfied. Kai knew something had changed in him, deep in his gut he felt it. As he laid in the afterglow and processed the night he felt his mind had been blown. It wasn't just that the sex was phenomenal, Kai was amazed because it was so much sweeter than all those years ago. With Jo, he'd just been curious and with Sarah his interest was clouded with remorse. Before, his joy was tinged with guilt, but now, now it was different. Having someone who wanted to be hurt, to be marked, and maimed _thrilled_ him.

* * *

Alas, no Bonnie in this chapter, but she will make her appearance soon! Don't you fret. This was mainly about establishing some back story and giving Kai's POV and intro into all this. Rest assured this is a BonKai story.

Until next time...


	2. Chapter 2

He'd known her for a while now, knew all about her 'so-called friends'. How they pressured her into situations over and over again. It wasn't that he didn't care it just- wasn't his problem. When he had initially moved to the area, as the Gemini east coast liaison, he'd reached out to her. He knew her grandmother and wanted to offer his condolences, however long after the fact. He also wanted to make the acquaintance of another witch- it didn't hurt that she was one of the most powerful witches in existence. They'd gotten together a couple of times, but it never went anywhere. She was always running after her friends and getting wrapped up in whatever they were wrapped up in.

She'd come to him several times asking for help, disappointed when he turned her and her gang of vamps down. After the fourth or fifth time, she stopped asking. He figured she'd written him off, oh well, no love lost there. It didn't stop him from watching her, though. She was cute, well gorgeous, and she was so strong, despite her foolish desire to throw herself onto the sacrificial altar over and over. Kai admired her tenacity; knock her down and she came up swinging, always. He admired the conviction.

**An escape is just a nod and a casual wave**

**Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days**

**It's only just a crush, it'll go away**

**It's just like all the others it'll go away**

He was walking to his mailbox when he noticed it. Her brown hair barely visible behind the large box she was holding. He couldn't see her face, or any distinguishing characteristics for that matter, but he'd recognize her aura anywhere. He watched her carry the box, bigger than her torso, into the house followed by her blonde friend. Before his mind could put it together his eyes looked to the curb in front of the door they'd both disappeared into. Today must be his lucky day; there was a moving van across the street.

**Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know**

**You pray it all away but it continues to grow**

* * *

Clearly, she'd grown. Good for her. She'd moved on, or at least moved out. Here she was in the apartment across from his. Maybe he'd do the neighborly thing and bake her a pie. He spent more time than he cared to admit posted on his living room couch watching her through the blinds. Her blond friend, Caroline helped her with most of the heavy lifting. He could see Bonnie complain every time Caroline tried to take something out of her hands, before ultimately agreeing to let the vampire take care of it. Over the course of the day, other friends came and went. Tyler and Stefan showed up about three hours in and helped move the rest of the furniture of the truck. Then Jeremy came, though it seemed like he wanted to talk to Bonnie more than he wanted to help her. Eventually, they all left, except for Caroline, who he assumed wanted to help her decorate. It wasn't until after one in the morning the two emerged from the condo. Bonnie walked her friend to her car, they embraced and Bonnie watched the car disappear down the street. After that, she disappeared into the darkness of her new condo

He could have gone over to help and he probably should have, but he enjoyed watching her. To be honest he'd been a little preoccupied thinking about what it meant that she was his new neighbor. She knew he lived here, it was only a matter of time before one of them crossed the street to the other. As sat watching her lift furniture and carry boxes he had one overwhelming thought. More than he wanted to be cordial, more than he wanted to be neighborly, _Fuck_ he wanted to make her suffer.

_No,_ he shook the thought away. He didn't need to think about beating up the witch next door- he had plenty on his plate already. A sadistic crush wasn't going to do him any favors. Plus, she wasn't the type to suffer for her own gratification; she only endured for the benefit of others- how sad. All her pain was wasted on her _useless_ friends.

* * *

**And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance**

**Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there**

**Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare**

**They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do**

He'd never expected to see her outside his door, especially so late at night. When the doorbell rang he assumed Jo had ported to him to discuss coven business- no one ever came to see him this late. They knew better. He groggily stumbled to the door after the fifth straight minute of knocking.

Opening it harshly he looked down.

"Oh, hey" she seemed startled "you're awake"

"Yes, well, you made sure of that" he said sharply.

She looked sheepish as her gaze turned downward "Oh, yeah. I guess I did- uh, sorry about that…"

"So what brings the little Bennet witch to my door?" he glanced towards his wrist "and at the witching hour no less?"

She paused seemingly lost in thought. Watching her bite her lips as she mulled over her thoughts was cute, but they could do that some other time. Preferably when it wasn't the middle of the night. The witching hour was not arbitrarily named; the veil was thinnest at this time. Things crossed between their world and the next. Sure they were witches, but only a foolish supernatural would be caught unawares right now.

He decided the conversation was over and positioned himself as if to close the door. "Well, Miss Bennet, I wish I could say it's been a pleasure, but you're cutting into my beauty sleep. If there's not anything I can help you with…"

She edged her foot into the doorway "No wait!" She let out a breath neither of them knew she'd been holding before sternly looking into his eyes "I- I see the way you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention. I know you've been watching me and uh- I think I know what you've been thinking. What you've been _wanting_."

Now he was interested, the witch had the power of intuition- he should have figured.

"Oh, yea?"

"Yea" She replied with a smile- having found her confidence.

"Well?" He leaned down over her. There was an edge to his voice he didn't want to hide. Clearly, if she was bold enough to come to his house this late, talking the way she was, she was after something.

She looked up at him, something hopeful and all together mischievous dancing behind her eyes "I've got a proposition for you"


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, hey, hey!

I gotta say this was really fun to write! One of the things I really enjoy about BonKai fanfic is how kinky it is, not all of it, of course, but there is some really nice juicy stuff out there. BonKai is my OTP so I appreciate all of it: the angst, the fluff, but there is a special spot in my heart for the violent, smutty, and warped interactions between them. So I figured why not try my hand at it and I am really pleased with the result! This is *DEFINITELY* the...spiciest chapter, so to speak, so buckle up!

Without further ado...

* * *

**But their lips met, and reservations started to pass**

**Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last**

It started out with a lie.

Not necessarily a big lie, she may have even told herself she believed it, but it was a lie all the same.

After appearing on his doorstep she made a request. She said she wanted to become stronger. She thought if he could help her build her pain tolerance she'd be better able to fight the baddies that made their way through town.

'_Heh, right'_ he scoffed at that, but he didn't let it show. _Better serve her friends was more like it._

Kai didn't know how it was possible, but somehow the greatest witch this side of the century had a martyr complex. A big one at that. He'd help her alright, but not so she could traipse off and die _again _for her pals.

No, he'd do it for his own reasons, if she could lie about her desires so could he.

* * *

Now looking at Bonnie the feeling from all those weeks ago rushed back. It had been some weeks since the conversation on his doorstep and, as per her request, they were training together. Currently she was bent over catching her breath after their wam-up. He watched her as she reached for the water bottle next to her, thinking to himself all the while. She was certainly smaller than him, but she wasn't mousy.

_Thank God._

It was no fun pushing around some meek wallflower, he wanted the person below him to have some wherewithal. Tossing around a rag doll wasn't a thrill, that was the kind of thing freaks and abusers got off on. Kai was neither, for it to be enjoyable there had to be some challenge, he had to feel like he could lose. Bonnie certainly looked like she knew how to cause grief. He got the impression she never let her size count her out of a fight. That's what drew him to her. Well, that and how beautiful he imagined she'd look in his bruises.

Bonnie was no shrinking violet, the way she jutted her chin out made him want to grab it all the more. Even now- red in the face and huffing as she drank she looked like a force to be reckoned with.

**Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind**

When he saw her he wanted to hurt her, to tear into her, make her whimper and beg in pain. He wanted to press his thumbs into the hollow of her throat, putting emphasis on her pulse points until she gasped for air.

He'd shove his tongue into her mouth then.

The best part of all is that she'd be begging for it, egging him on and weeping with joy. When he was done brutalizing her she'd curl up into his arms and thank him, peppering chaste kisses along his jaw. He'd hold her and stroke her back and they'd fall asleep that way.

That would come soon enough though, _'all things in due time_' he reminded himself. They'd get where they were meant to be eventually, for now he just needed to be patient. Of course, patience was something easier preached than practiced. He shook his thoughts away and reached his hand out to her.

"Ready?"

**Either way he wanted her and this was bad**

**He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy**

**Now a little crush turned into a like**

**And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her...**

* * *

This was about catharsis; it was about deliverance. He wanted to take her somewhere she hadn't been. He saw the pain she never processed, the feelings she buried, the fear, despair, and emptiness that clouded in her eyes whenever she thought he wasn't looking. He wanted to take that and make it real, shake her from this dissociation and force her to work through all the things she ran from. He wanted her honest. She may not admit her friend's actions hurt her, but she'd scream for him wjen he forced it out of her.

When he looked at her he saw her, _really_ saw her. Perhaps better than anyone else in her life. Better than her friends who only called when they needed something, better than her mother who ran off, better than her father who was never around. The people she held closest to herself only saw her in so far as she could be useful to them. Sure, they knew she was a witch, but that only meant service to them. Everyone knew her for the roles she played. Daughter, friend, Bennet Witch, but they never saw her as a person, never in her totality. They wanted her at their beck and call and when she refused they called her selfish, twisted her arm, practically spit in her face. She was only welcome so long as she served. How cruel. Destined to be a martyr. She was so tired of the yoke of friendship. Why did her relationships always feel like burdens? She was always saddled with responsibility and obligation-even to the people who claimed to support her.

Unlike them, he didn't want anything from her, he just wanted to transform. To take her and mold her like clay. Of course, she'd have the greatest input in what she became, he was just the sculptor- she was the art. He'd help her reach whatever she wanted to be, he just needed her to tell him. Once she let him in on the secret he'd happily deliver.

* * *

Just because he was a sadist didn't mean he was a monster- he still believed in aftercare. He was fully prepared, and looking forward to, giving Bonnie everything she needed after biting into her. It wasn't _just_ about the pain. Of course, he also wanted to make her cum, wanted to use the same thumbs that cut off her breath to trace designs against the delicate skin of her clit. He wanted to tap patterns on the nub until he made her whimper in an altogether different way. She'd pant into his open mouth and he'd swallow down her moans.

He'd shove his tongue into her mouth then too.

He always fantasized about making her scream- the reasons for her vocalizations varied, but he'd make her writhe all the same.

* * *

It had been six months when something finally changed.

Typically she would come in, they'd eat together or talk for a while then she'd discuss what she wanted to work on, where she needed the most help, and what she wanted to avoid. After they discussed everything in detail she'd change into lighter clothes and they'd set out to their lesson.

Today she forwent that, when he came back from the bathroom he found her standing near his bedroom in only her underthings.

"Bonnie?"

Her head turned slightly as if she wanted to look over her shoulder at him "Don't pretend this isn't what you were always after, Malachai" the witch said cutting her eyes directly to his.

He felt his breathing deepen. Before he consciously knew it he'd drawn closer to her and was closing the distance still. Something about the way she said his name, his full name. Not just _Kai_ or _Mal_ or any other silly little nickname;** _Malachai _**like he was some dark angel. Something from beyond sent into her life to deliver her. And he was. When she said his name like that, when she rolled her tongue around the full weight of it, it was as if she really saw him, the way he saw her.

So she'd decided to direct her complex at him now, oh sweet and naive Bonnie. He'd always wanted her to suffer for him, but not for the reasons she was used to. Somewhere along the way, he'd become someone in her life worth serving, worth suffering for.

He'd show her.

* * *

For all his talk he wasn't pious, he didn't think himself a true angel. He knew he wasn't sanctified- but he wanted the glory anyway. He wanted her to look up at him through sweat and tears and blood in awe. He'd deliver the swinging blow and she'd kiss his feet for it.

The desire to mar her brown flesh was stronger than he'd ever felt. He wanted it red and ruddy. She was bent over herself, forehead against the floor. He stooped down next to her and gathered her hair tenderly, fingers deftly moving through her curls to the base of her skull. He gently massaged her scalp with the pads of his fingers before roughly yanking her up.

"You look so pretty when you cry" he meant it sincerely.

She panted before opening her eyes slowly "I want you to hurt me" she said as she gave him a sidelong glance.

"Oh, I will" he smirked "don't you worry about that. But that's not exactly how you ask, now is it, Bonnie?"

"Please"

"Please _what?" _

"_Please_ hurt me"

"Are you asking me for what you want or are you telling me? I don't give in to demands..."

She sounded wild and desperate "Kai, would you please, _please_ hurt me? _Please._" She sounded so desperate for it.

Fuck, he loved her begging.

"Oh! Well, there's no need to whimper Bonnie, if you want to be hurt you know all you have to do is ask!"

He kissed her roughly, making sure to bite her lower lip.

* * *

They'd been playing at this for so long now, they'd done away with the pretense months ago and he was still riveted by it. In the beginning he was worried it would get old, that the novelty would wear off. That had always been a problem of his, he got bored too quickly. Bonnie never bored him though, and he never bored her. He knew because after each visit to him she walked away smiling bigger and bigger. She made requests to stop by more and more frequently. In his wildest fantasies he'd never knew it could be like this.

Right now Bonnie was freshly undressed and squirming in his grasp.

Kai grabbed a fist full of her hair and pressed her into the wall behind him whispering violently in her ear as he did so. He could see the goosebumps raised along her flesh and he could smell how much she wanted this; she was loving every moment of it. If it were at all possible he pressed himself further against her until his teeth scraped the shell of her ear.

"I wanna fucking tear you apart. _I'm going to_"

Her jaw opened to let out a moan and he spit in her mouth.

"Swallow"

She obliged without hesitation.

"Good girl" he was beaming at her as he trailed his knuckles down her back, slick with sweat.

"I'm going to siphon you now" he liked to give warning, he loved to see her tense up before he got to her.

He could see her clench her teeth in an effort to arm herself against the pain she knew was coming.

"Relax, relax" he said stroking her shoulders and chuckling lightly. He ran his fingers up and down her arms. Being gentle before vicious made the sting sweeter. She knew it was coming, but she still couldn't anticipate exactly and that meant she couldn't brace herself.

He saw her release her shoulders slightly as he stroked her from behind. That was the moment he'd been waiting for- when she didn't expect it he took hold of both her arms and drew her magic out sharply.

"Ahhh!" She cried out

"That's right, I know it hurts- push through it, Bonnie. I believe in you."

He held her for several more moments watching her skin glow brighter and brighter red beneath his fingers.

When he pulled his hands away she was panting hard with her head hung low- the red glow gave way to the slick brown of her skin- the sheen of her sweat glistening under the light.

She was mumbling something now. He strained close to hear her.

"Speak up, Bon-bon, I didn't catch that"

She leaned her head back "th- thank you" she said still out of breath "thank you"

He walked around her to crouch down and stare levelly in her eyes "You're so welcome."

* * *

They'd been having an especially painful night and she'd been taking everything he gave, but for some reason she was particularly silent.

It put him on edge, she was almost never like this.

The few times it happened before she'd let him know beforehand she wasn't feeling vocal. He'd known not to expect much noise out of her then. Today was different, she'd come in silently, save for a few words in greeting then she shed her clothes and laid on the bed looking up at him.

They'd been at it for almost 40 minutes. He started by tying her hands behind her back- arms tucked and each hand holding the opposite elbow. Then he'd alternated between the heavy flogger on her upper body and an intricately carved paddle on her seat. They took a short break in the middle before starting up again with clamps and a string of clothespins.

He didn't use pins with her all that often, but usually when he did she screamed for him, tonight she hadn't. He decided he'd had enough of her silent treatment.

He wanted to try something.

* * *

He was focusing on siphoning her now. "Do you like it, Bonnie? Having your magic taken?" he could tell she didn't expect to hear him speak by the way she jumped upon hearing his voice.

She only grunted in response, her muscles pulled together tightly from the pain.

"What's wrong? Why so tense? I mean..I figure since you're so used to giving it up to everyone that you'd enjoy this."

Her eyes were sharp suddenly and she stared at him. At least that inspired some kind of reaction. He continued on.

"Elena, Damon, Stefan, _Klaus_" he said the last name with an especially hard bite.

"You just give it up to anyone who asks, don't you?" before she could do or say anything he pressed forward.

"Tell me… are you a slut Bonnie? Do you always give your goods up to anyone who chances to pass by? Vampires, wolves, _originals…_" his eyebrows pulled together at the center as if he was really thinking.

He stood in front of her and held her jaw tightly staring pointedly into her eyes. He drew closer to her until they were barely inches apart.

"I don't ask, though. I take." His grip turned tighter "You'll never have to worry about me asking you for anything, Bonnie, because I'll just take it from you" he ripped the magic out of her then. Her jaw turning crimson and dropping open from the cut of pain. He stopped just as quickly and walked away from her. With his back to her he tilted his head as if contemplating before turning back around. She was biting her lip hard- as if trying to keep from yelling at him. Cutting a hard glare his way.

He kept going.

"Just what kind of witch are you? Whoring yourself and your powers out to anyone who even looks at you?"

All his cruelty wasn't arbitrary, he was hitting her sore spots because he was building to something. She told him several weeks ago she wanted to explore her capacity for verbal humiliation and he was happy to oblige. He was worried maybe he was being too wicked, but he knew she knew their safeword, she was free to end this at any time. Plus Bonnie was a witch, no man-made rope could actually contain her. He reminded himself that he'd built in several 'outs' if she was still here with him it was because she wanted to be.

For that reason it was time to go for her throat.

"Oh, Bonnie" he feigned genuine sympathy as he looked to her "What would Sheila think?"

She jerked at that, an ugly scowl across her face, her nostrils flaring in anger. She pinned her eyes to him like she wanted to wring his neck. He thought for sure she was about to curse him out, yell at him, hex him- anything. But the more he studied the rage in her face the more he saw. Her eyes were doing something strange as was her mouth? They were quivering...it was like her jaw was quaking. Was she about to...

Tears sprang forth and she wailed. Something loud and keening, like a bean-nighe. Her body wracked by heavy sobs. Her chest heaved up and down and she struggled to catch her breath. He hadn't thought she'd react like this and he was thrown. He expected some outburst, but not her tears. She must have been holding this in for a long time.

"Bonnie, Bonnie look at me" her eyes were shut tight as tears streamed down her face.

"Bonnie, I need you to look at me, okay?" He took hold of her waist and rubbed gently with his thumbs. His grip turning the faintest bit firmer when she still didn't open her eyes.

"What do you need, Bonnie? I need you to use your words"

She seemed to calm down a little as he spoke "I just, I just can't right now, please I just-" she didn't have to finish before he began untying the knots.

"Shh, shhh it's okay, I've got you" he gathered her into his arms. He should have known she wasn't ready. Pain always brought vulnerability, they'd dredged something up, something she'd buried and wasn't ready to face.

It was alright, he'd hold her through it and they'd try again. He'd be there for her.

After all she was his.

**I want to hold you close**

**Soft breasts, beating heart**

**As I whisper in your ear**

**I want to fucking tear you apart**

* * *

Thanks for being here! I know it's long, but I just kept adding to it! I admit I had a lot of raw story left, but I also wanted to tie loose ends together and that made it even longer! Anyway I really hope you enjoyed this story, I definitely enjoyed writing it!

I like to keep my stories open, but this will be the final chapter for now. I always wanted this story to be finite little three-parter. If you think there is more here or want me to do something else with it then just let me know! Again, thanks for checking this out! I really appreciate it! Leave a review so I know what you think!


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